Communication is Key

Today I learned a lesson about communicating expectations for class behavior. What seems obvious to an adult dance teacher is not obvious to every child. I learned that if I can put words around the exact behavior I want to change, the child may respond by trying to accomplish the change I am seeking.

Leah, ten years old, worked hard and loved to dance. I thought she was ready to move to a higher level, but first I had to get her behavior in line with that of an advanced class. A born thinker, extrovert, and leader, the dancer gave other dancers corrections often. Even though I pointed this out to her each time,

I didn't think she was trying to change her behavior long-term.

I could clearly see that she was highly motivated and had a ton of potential. I decided to speak with her after class about not correcting other dancers.

I was surprised when, the next week, the dancer spoke out constantly in class. It seemed like every time I took a breath, she chimed in with a comment, question, or correction for me. This had happened in some degree before, but never in such an overwhelming way. At first I felt like she hadn't progressed at all and I was back to square one.

Then it came to me that the dancer had, in fact, modified her behavior every way I asked. She hadn't corrected any other student. I realized that I had never actually SAID to her that I didn’t want her to direct comments, questions, and corrections toward ME.

I approached the dancer before her next class. I congratulated her on accomplishing everything I had asked. Then I said there was one more thing she needed to do, but I warned her it might be difficult.

I asked her not to correct me, comment on what I was saying, or even to ask any questions during the entire class. I told her it would be a different situation if it were just the two of us dancing together. But, I said, since there is a whole class involved, I needed her to hold back the conversational approach until the class was over. After class, I said, she could tell me whatever she wanted. When I saw the determined look, I knew I was on the right track.

During class I saw the dancer stop herself from speaking several times. Once she even put her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes. I suppressed a smile. It was working! After class, I called her over and told her that she had done it! This situation showed me that communication is key.